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Does Your Child Appreciate all of the Opportunities You Provide?


Dear Parents,

I know you are very proud of them because they are smart, talented and have so much potential.

I know you want to give them every opportunity to succeed; opportunities that maybe you never had.

I know you want to do so much for them because they work so hard and are so busy.

I know you take your job as their parent seriously and you don’t want to see them fail.

I know you feel disappointed when they don’t appreciate everything you do for them.

Here’s the thing,

To them it could feel like pressure to perform to meet your high expectations and standards.

To them it could feel like their best isn’t good enough.

To them it could feel like you don’t believe in them or trust in their ability to succeed.

To them your help may not seem like a sign of love or faith in them.

From this place,

It could turn into fear of disappointing you.

It could turn into anxiety and defeat.

It could turn into confusion about who they really are.

It could turn into withdrawal and depression.​

No...this was not your loving intention or the outcome you envisioned when it all began.

But if this is where you are now, it's not too late to change it.

"One of the greatest tortures in life is to want something MORE for your children than they do.”

Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today

I love this quote because it speaks to a common theme among parents I serve and coexist with every day. Believe me, I get it and have experienced it myself.

We see potential in our children way before they can see it in themselves. Afterall, we have the gift of hindsight and have likely experienced regrets about our own missed opportunities and our untapped potential.

When we have children, it’s like we get a second chance! When we notice a gift or a talent in our children, we get excited and want to give them every opportunity to develop it and pursue it to the finish line!

It starts off slowly and organically... We sign them up for something to keep them active and busy. We attend their events, and start to feel our pride as parents ignite! It feels amazing, every time they perform and rise to the next level.

We think, ‘That’s my child, they are so smart, so talented, so gifted!’

So we sign them up for the next level, a bigger commitment. It’s a bit of a sacrifice, money and/or time, but it’s worth it, because it’s our investment in their future, we tell ourselves. As the years pass and they keep going, our vision expands:​

  • The incredible athlete who loves their sport could become an olympian or be in a professional league!

  • The talented musician who plays their instrument so beautifully could grace the stage at Carnegie Hall with the Philharmonic Orchestra!

  • The artistic singer, actor or dancer could perform at the opera, on Broadway, the ballet or achieve the ultimate dream of becoming a star!

  • The smart kid who is in the gifted and talented program could be the next Steve Jobs, or a top surgeon or billionaire business mogul!

Or…​

  • If all else fails, maybe they can earn a scholarship to a top college, because heaven knows, I can’t afford to pay for it!

College Campus

Somehow, our moments of joy and pride when they were little, turned into hope and expectations of them as emerging adults. </